An accountant gets home late one night and his wife says, "Where the hell have you been?"

He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."

"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?"

"I got a hundred dollar bill on my penis," he said proudly.

"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain.

"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his penis?"

"Well, For one, I like to watch my money grow," he began.

"Second ........ once in a while, I like to play with my money...

"Third....... I like how money feels in my hand...

"And lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."